It is highly unusual for a woman to be completely immersed in a domestic career and then have a complete about face. That is what happened to me. I was married for twenty years and had three children. It was a very busy time in my life. Then I got divorced and the children grew up. Now I am on my own. I think this experience gives me a unique perspective on life and I hope to be able to help others who might experience something similar through bereavement or other life changing experiences.
Spending time alone was a big adjustment for me but I am very grateful for what it has given me and I think we could all do to spend more time alone. It is difficult to find that time and space in our busy lives but it is invaluable and necessary for a healthy balanced lifestyle. Through my time alone I found IIN and enrolled to become a health coach. This has been a game changer for me.
Bedgebury Wellbeing is the result of my studies with IIN and my own personal journey. I am constantly reading books and excerpts from gifted speakers and writers and along with my personal experience I hope to be able to communicate my thoughts and help others who are looking for support and guidance. In my own small way I would like to offer help to others if they need it or want it. It is my way of showing gratitude for the life I have been given.
As I have previously mentioned, IIN focusses on primary food (career, relationships, physical activity and spiritual practice) above and beyond secondary food (the food you eat). My time alone has allowed me to focus on my primary foods which has made me a more balanced and enlightened person. I would like to share with you the changes which I have experienced since I began following this new and different path.
My career changed from being a wife and mother to being an entrepreneur and property developer. I am in the middle of all that and will let you know in the coming years whether I am successful with it or not. I have goals and I feel I am on the right track to achieve those goals. That is all anyone can do. Failure will not make me a failure. It will teach me something and from there I will have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going. I think I have done that more than once already. It is interesting that I have made crucial decisions about my future on my travels alone. I find that a bit of distance helps put things in perspective. It is that me time again!!
It has been a difficult time working through my existing relationships. Obviously things have changed dramatically with my ex and we do not really communicate anymore. That is fine. You have to let things go. I am now a single mother of three children without the support of a male role model. Although the children have grown up, it is still a challenging time as they try to more forward with their adult life. I try to set a good example but I am only human and I fail sometimes. They are quick to point that out but I guess they can see that nobody is perfect and we must accept people as they are. That is what family is all about and that is what we must strive for in our relationships. I have learned that the most important thing in our relationships is to love ourselves first and foremost. Time alone helps you achieve that. From this point we must then establish boundaries and be very firm with our loved ones and friends about these boundaries. It is really that simple but of course it is not that simple in real life.
Fresh air and exercise is medicine for the soul and it always makes me feel better no matter what my mood. Having plenty of time to myself has allowed me explore new and different activities alongside all the ones I already love. I tried kite surfing last year and would love to have another go. At the moment I am playing a lot of golf and water skiing. There are so many other things that I would love to do but it is just finding the time. I cannot recommend physical activity too much. Not only is it good for your body, but it is also good for your mind and I think that is something people forget about.
Focussing on my personal development has allowed me to think about my spirituality. To me spirituality is about how you feel inside and I think the key to a healthy spiritual practice is taking time to focus on the inner you. Living in the moment and being grateful is the ultimate spiritual practice and if you find yourself in a position where life has thrown a curve ball at you, taking time out to focus on the now is one of the most powerful things you can do in order to find some peace and make sense of your situation.
We are now at the stage where we could talk about our secondary foods but I think I will leave that for another day.